Beautiful Body

18 January 2013
11:14 pm
Edinburgh

T. —

Andrew and I just watched this tonight. I love Soul Pancake. It really is like pancakes for the soul. I thought a lot of what was addressed in this video is pertinent and interesting, but I love the poem it ended with, so I’m borrowing the words from the poet’s website to put here tonight:

*

Beautiful Body
by Natalie Patterson

Sometimes
When I am feeling disconnected from a crowd of people I’m standing in front of
When they are staring at me but nothing about the interaction feels of love or understanding
Not fun or joy
I ask them to repeat after me
“I am beautiful”

And some are more reluctant than others

I am beautiful should be a given
Should be a place we begin from
A foundation we are born into
but sometimes messages get delivered like the post
From a stranger always having a bad day

A body should not beg for acceptance

We walk around in these bodies
These protective suits for our tender souls
We walk around looking like tattered undelivered apology notes
My flesh is exactly as I need it to be to keep my spirit intact
Shiny
But I have been roaming these streets thinking I understood the concept of beauty as it relates to me
Thinking
I am beautiful If only I was less or more
Thinking
If I weighed less these shallow fools would want to know me
I’ve been hiding behind clothes trying to camouflage
When myself and comfortable is all I’ve ever wanted to be
But sometimes
Comfortable is as lasting as a love I lost long ago

She said
“You have a beautiful body”

I could not comprehend the words
It was the first time in my entire life I had ever heard these words placed together and directed at me
When im confused I take big ideas and break them into smaller pieces
Make them tiny enough to fit my world into

You have a beautiful body

YOU
Meaning me
Meaning Natalie Patterson
Daughter of joe frank and lynne
Meaning mid west American black girl
With skin and eyes light enough to confuse her own kind
Meaning my own kind don’t recognize me

You have a beautiful body

HAVE implies ownership
meaning I natalie Patterson own something I never paid for
meaning somethings are free
meaning I didn’t earn it so I don’t know the value of it
Might abuse or take it for granted

You have a beautiful body

A meaning one
Meaning I natalie Patterson own a single thing
One irreplaceable thing that does indeed die

You have a beautiful body

BEAUTIFUL meaning pleasing or satisfying
Meaning I am appealing and desirable
Didn’t know that
Have always been pretty with a “but If you only” attached
Never been just beautiful
Stated as fact

You have a beautiful body

BODY meaning physical structure
A place the spirit is held in
And i have never held even my lovers long enough to be good at it

You have a beautiful body

I will repeat these words until I am no longer reluctant
Until these words are a given
Until they are no longer foreign in my mouth
I will repeat these words
I have a beautiful body
I have a beautiful body
I have a beautiful body
Until ownership becomes a privilege
Until this skin becomes a perfect home
Weathered and worn over time
A perfect home
Whose walls I know well
Whose stair case
And old floors creak my favorite song
I am my own favorite song that I am just now learning all the words to
But I wanna sing you
Sing you til the song sticks

I have a beautiful body period.

*

Goodnight,
M

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4 thoughts on “Beautiful Body

  1. Pingback: Beautiful Body Natalie Patterson | dibeauty.com

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