Proper Place

15 January 2014
10:21 PM
Manila

M.–

Trying to control my obsessive-compulsive tendencies is taking a toll on me. Every day that passes that my things are not in their proper place feels like something is eating away at my soul. I am keenly aware how scattered my books are, how wrong it is that my pens and notebooks are not where they are supposed to be.

These days I am trying to keep my world small–to put all my essentials in one bag. A portable office, almost. But I could only keep so much notebooks in there, and one or two books–and a part of me wants to wail at the injustice of having to leave other things that matter behind. I’ve tried to make peace with the fact that some books must stay in boxes for now, and that my working space and sleeping space is the tiny mattress in between two beds, and that my back and ass hurt from sitting (and sleeping) on the cold floor.

Then, so as not to completely fall off the edge, I allow myself one day–today–to be a drama queen and bitch about it.

So that’s done. Sorry it’s so random. Now to end my night listening to a song that broke my heart a few days ago.

Goodnight,
T.

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