Dammit These Feelings

5 December 2013
10:32 PM
Manila

M.–

1.
I’m at my desk making a Christmas mix for my father so he can play it in the car. I am also sorting his to-mail into two stacks: the red card that goes into the green envelope on the right, and the brown card that goes in the red envelope on the left.

2.
I really, really wish that I wasn’t here. I don’t know if it’s the songs that are making me feel this way, but I am suddenly feeling very sad because I can’t be with friends who live in other countries.

3.
I wish I was at your place. I wish we could have coffee or tea, and walk through the streets, and talk. Just talk.

4.
Dammit these feelings.

5.
It is Day Five of the #GraceAndGratitude workshop, and Sarah has just sent two of my favourite poems. Things I have nourished myself with today, even before I read today’s notebook:

  • Soup, because I wasn’t feeling very well
  • Coffee, cheesecake, and another Snickers bar (seems I’ve been doing that a lot lately)
  • Christmas songs
  • A nice afternoon nap

6.
I am almost done with work-related tasks and other backlog to-do’s. I think, once I’ve done those that I will just rest for the remaining days of the year. I am looking forward to spending more time reading and writing letters, as well as savouring more books and poems.

7.
I want to work on my poems, too.

Goodnight,
T.

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