Mostly? Silence.

22 November 2013
11:08 PM
Manila

M.–

You know what’s funny–I always begin my letters in the evening, and somehow always end up posting them in the morning. So it’s as if we haven’t really exchanged days, or: we have, but our patterns are inverted. Or something. I don’t know if I am making any sense. I think my brain is still on the poems I just sent you.

Here, let me try again: perhaps let’s just let the days go where they want. Let’s just let the night fall and fade into morning, and vice versa. Perhaps we should have a category for the afternoons, for times when we are both in between.

With regard to the ways with which people could make my life easier, or I could make their lives or my own life easier–I think mostly it has something to do with silence.

I need a space to be quiet in. I need people to leave me alone. I need those who love me and care for me to understand that and accept that, without resentment or scorn.

For my part, I know I also need to be silent so I can listen more, be present more, be more aware of what people are saying and not saying. Also: to learn to keep the voices down in my head, to not let them overwhelm me. To not overthink all the time. To accept simplicity and not question it.

Goodnight,
T.

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One thought on “Mostly? Silence.

  1. The idea of being lost in the afternoons reminds me of “Bad” by Stephen Dunn. I heard it for the first time in 2009 when we got him to come to Muhlenberg, and at that point it had never been published. I loved it. Adored it. I’m going to include it in my post for this morning =)

    M

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