28 October 2013
I have decided to take all afternoon to write this letter to you, in the midst of the rushes and lulls of my other work. Maybe by the end of the evening, I will feel like I have actually, properly, written you the real kind of letter that my recent weeks have been failing to produce.
All I have is my own story, and this thought:
Run from the person who has found the truth,
follow the person looking for it.
– Makefulness: Thoughts on Creativity by Seth Lewandowski
This clearly did not work. Other things I had to do this afternoon:
- Office work
- Making lots of tea and coffee
- Shuffling around clients and guests
- 4 hours of essay work
And lots of running around and lots of clean up. And lots of really wanting a job where I’m not just making tea and coffee, but contributing in a more essential way.
I also misread the box of blueberry&apple tea. I thought it was pomegranate&raspberry. But it wasn’t. That was very disappointing.
In two weeks, I am taking refuge from Garchen Rinpoche.
I am tired and the day is ending. I wish I could just have a few more hours to write letters.
Refuge Prayer by Thich Nhat-Hanh
At the foot of the Bodhi tree, beautifully seated, peaceful and smiling,
the living source of understanding and compassion, to the Buddha I go for refuge.
The path of mindful living, leading to healing, joy, and enlightenment,
the way of peace, to the Dhamma I go for refuge.
The loving and supportive community of practice, realizing harmony, awareness, and liberation,
to the Sangha I go for refuge.
I am aware that the Three Gems are within my heart, I vow to realize them.
I vow to practice mindful breathing and smiling, looking deeply into things.
I vow to understand living beings and their suffering, to cultivate compassion and loving kindness,
and to practice joy and equanimity.
I vow to offer joy to one person in the morning and to help relieve the grief of one person in the afternoon.
I vow to live simply and sanely, content with just a few possessions, and to keep my body healthy.
I vow to let go of all worry and anxiety in order to be light and free.
I am aware that I owe so much to my parents, teachers, friends and all beings.
I vow to be worthy of their trust, to practice wholeheartedly,
so that understanding and compassion will flower,
and I can help living beings be free from their suffering.
May the Buddha, the Dhamma, and the Sangha support my efforts.
Listen: “I vow to offer joy to one person in the morning and to help relieve the grief of one person in the afternoon.” — That’s you and me.