15 (16) August 2013
We got our first review today from some 18 year old with purple hair who doesn’t understand the intricacies of perception. Needless to say, we only got one star out of five. I’ve gone through the various stages of grief: denial, anger, acceptance. Pity. Sympathy. Are those emotions in the stages of grief? They should be. I felt sorry for her, for the fact that she seems to have a black and white view of the world. For the fact that she wanted us to live up to some standard she had already set in her head. I felt sorry for her because she couldn’t see us for what we are. She could only see us for what she wanted us to be. Is that the inherent problem of audience and artist? I don’t think so. I like to think I am an intuitive audience.
Good things that came out of this day:
- I took my mom to hear a discussion about Italo Calvino’s letters.
- She then bought me a copy. And I got it signed. I will definitely be sending you snippets from it. I am elated.
- The show was great tonight, despite some technical hiccups. I think mistakes only serve to remind us that we are alive. And human. And fallible. It’s amazing to be able to keep going anyway in the face of them.
- We went for drinks with two of our good Edinburgh friends, who I feel like I rarely see, even though I do actually see them quite often. There is a difference between proximity and connection. In the middle of a booth with 7 different people, I had a conversation with one person which muted any other knowledge of the outside world. Our world was narrowed to a single funnel of communication and compassion. I felt really lucky, in that moment, to be able to speak to someone like that. To be able to receive that experience.
- Rain on the way home. No taxis. Late buses. An adventure. Just revelling in the life that happens after midnight in Edinburgh streets.
I wish you were here. You would love the festivals. One year, we will get you over here. You should stay for months and then never go home. We will stay up talking with pots and pots of tea, and fall asleep pouring over books in the living room.
This is why the heart of life is connection. The soul of humanity is to be shared.
I feel so blessed.