31 July 2013
It’s been quite a rough patch for a couple of weeks now. I think I’m in deep trouble, life-wise. I don’t know–I just can’t seem to get it right still. I want to be able to get past this, and nevermind the bruising. I know that it’s unrealistic to get out unscathed. That’s fine, as long as I get out, you know? But–it’s wave after wave after wave.
Received a letter today from the bank, which is a letter I do not want to get. I skimmed through it. I think tomorrow the words will hit me with me a vengeance.
The thing is–I used to be sad a lot. These days, that is still true. Although–I think I am angry a lot, too.
No, I think I am angry all the time now. At nothing. At everything. At the little things.
Received a letter from someone a few weeks back. It is a letter I want to get. I read it over and over, and then I put it aside. I said, later. Later there is time to write. But there never is time. And I think about how horrible a friend I am. (Have I been that way to you? I’m sorry.)
I want to say, Be kind to me, August; Be kind to me, Universe. But I know it doesn’t work that way.
Tomorrow: beginning again.